Ladies,
This is just one article in a series entitled “The Best Wedding Registry”. Each article in the series focuses on different rooms of the house. The links to other parts in this series are found at the end of each article.
“The wisest of women builds her house”
Proverbs 14:1
Building a wedding registry as a soon to be wife is like building a piece of furniture before you have ever been a wood worker. I had never been running a household before, so I did not know what I actually needed as a new wife. As a soon-to-be-wife long ago, I put together a registry of household items I thought were standard to all wives and without enough focus on the quality of items. I ended up with items that I did not need and without items that I should have registered for.
I registered for an iron thinking everyone should probably own an iron. I did not register for an iron because I ever ironed or needed to iron. I did not own fabrics that required ironing. Lesson learned that if you do not need an iron now, that item does not have to be on your registry! Someone else’s essential items will be different from yours.
Many women register for items they see other women registering for
Often times these are trendy things. The new appliance, the cutesy utensil set, the super trendy kitchen decor. You do not need those items and those things will be the first to degrade or be donated. Our culture is full of “fast food” purchases. Wedding gifts should not be this kind of cheap quality. Traditionally, wedding gifts were understood to be a higher priced item of quality which were essential household items that would last the couple’s entire lives: a quality set of dishes, flatware, stemware, bakeware, etc. Women registered at high end department stores for high quality items that lasted their lifetimes. Wedding guests knew that these were supposed to be expensive quality gifts.
When you register for cheap items, they often go unused and donated, or ruined and trashed a few months or years later. If you think it is rude to register for high quality pricier items just think about how cheap items that you get rid of months later is a waste of money for the wedding guests.
My friend registered at a lower priced big box store and she got baking sheets that rusted on the underside of the lip of the pan and pans that warped. When your tools are bad, the job is harder. This is not an encouraging start to learning how to be a homemaker.
Be skeptical of the store’s suggestions.
When a friend of mine was setting up her online registry, the store websites kept suggesting items to put on the list. Women are so vulnerable to this type of marketing because these suggestions are not the suggestions of seasoned homemakers, it is just the store trying to sell things. She ended up with many things she just didn’t use and donated many items within the first year when they moved states.
Consider what you will use for this season of life.
My friend donated wedding gifts that she may actually end up needing in the long run. But the fact is, she did not need them in this season. Your registry will depend on your season of life. If a new bride will be in a season of moving frequently, think about what will be worth packing, paying to transit it, and physically lifting it to take it along. If you do not value or currently use certain items like stemware or a coffee pot, you don’t need to register for those items even though they are “essential”. Consider what fits your and your fiancé’s current needs.
You need items that meet you at your skill level.
If an insta-pot intimidates you but a casserole dish does not, then register for the casserole dish instead of the appliance. Register for something you would use today to clean, make dinner, eat with, etc.
Young new wives have not yet learned what items degrade quickly.
As a new wife, I did not know that inexpensive sheets pill easily and feel terrible after only a few months. I grew increasingly frustrated that I was buying new sheets every six months. I wondered if all sheets were like this. I wondered if sheets existed that held up. No one seemed to have answers. I went over a decade before I discovered better sheets.
When I was a beginner cook as a new wife, my spatula and other utensils would bend or melt, because I did not own quality pieces that had stainless steel interior throughout. I did not buy high heat resistant exteriors. I did not buy utensils with long enough handles. Now I know that I should have registered for these basic kitchen utensils in high end quality brands.
The right tools make your job as the wife easier.
This article series has years of experience behind it that came from my own naivety and only confirmed by speaking with a friend that this experience is not unusual. Below are the links to what to register for based on each room of the house. Share these links to save another new young bride from wedding registry mistakes!
