Christian Homemaking: The Good, The Bad & The How to

Ladies, are you new to homemaking? I began homemaking as a newlywed full time 15 years ago, because I had always treasured this wifely role in my heart. I longed for the domestic job of my own home. But it came as a shock to me as I stepped into this realm, that it was a very difficult path for many reasons. I love creating clean and beautiful rooms, wonderful food and welcoming ambiance…but I did this work very much alone in my conviction for it. There was no Pinterest showcasing other wives doing this work, their homes, tips, or support. There was no cultural movement that encouraged us. The topic never came up! When it did, no one even understood what I “did all day”. I put my head down and did the work I felt was important for me to do. I did it even when it was not fun (homemaking can be repetitive just like any job). I did it when I was fumbling through learning how to have people over for dinner and how to grocery plan and cook day in and day out, etc. I’m not saying this to glorify myself, I am saying it was difficult.

I have also experienced this new era where there is a lot of support and encouragement for the homemaker. I have been a homemaker in the climate of discouragement about it and in a climate of encouragement about it. But I am so thankful that the reason I valued this work so much was because I read about this kind of wife in scripture, and I had the blessing of seeing a handful of wives during my upbringing who were happy and excellent homemakers. Some of them did homemaking exclusively and others did some money earning on the side that did not conflict with her home and family, and some started their own very successful businesses because of the freedom of being a wife working at home. I was privileged to have read about this wife in the Holy Bible but also to have experienced her, when so many children grow up knowing neither.

“The wisest of women builds her home.” Proverbs 14:1

Now I see women realizing that her home and family has been minimized in her life to the point of stealing it from her. I see women staking their flags deep into homemaking because they finally realize the value of building their homes, not just their careers.

But we can stake our flag so deep; we may be remiss about something inherent to our purpose of doing it. The value of building our homes remains the same, while the hardship of it is a constant flux just like the culture. Sometimes the results are incredibly favorable but sometimes the results are like a constant reminder that what you do is not highly respected, or the duties are undone too often to give a sense of accomplishment, or you just do them amid sadness because sad things happen. The work is still valuable but just like the cultural climate varies in support or criticism of it, the climate of emotions and hard times or good times changes as you do this work.

Our job in building our home is not to build our own little kingdom. Our job is to build God’s Kingdom in our home.

Children grow up and leave our kingdom. Pets die in our kingdom. We miscarry in our kingdom. Money is tight in our kingdom. People are sinful in our kingdom. What happens when life is hard in our kingdom? It is easy to romanticize the home and the work of it because it does matter, and it can be wonderful. But in a sinful world with sinful people, death, or just the changing seasons of life…home can be a painful place. Your little kingdom won’t always feel like the oasis you dreamed and worked for it to be.

Home and Our Work in it is Vital but it’s not God

If anything, the wife working to make her home a place of comfort, nourishment and beauty does it amid difficult circumstances at home. A wife working at home is not a panacea for all problems. Bad things are not always outside of our doors but inside of our doors as well. Homemakers do not work in a sheltered environment from hardship. And that is exactly why some wives step into this role, because they see the need to be there spiritually, emotionally, and physically to help issues in the home.

But we could cling so tightly to the virtues alone of being a homemaker that we attribute having a better situation because of it. What if your life doesn’t get better once you become a homemaker? Maybe you will disregard the entire thing because you will say it didn’t work! Doing the right or good thing does not always produce the results you want. I had a horrible life as a homemaker for many years. But I had Jesus. I never viewed homemaking in and of itself as the reason I did it, I was serving the Lord.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24

I speak from experience when I say that serving Jesus is how the Christian wife does this work. He is our source, not our emotions or circumstance. And no matter how inclined I am to homemaking and no matter how much I enjoy aspects of it, I tire of it. I have been incredibly discouraged in it. But what kept me going was I always had a deeper sense about serving the Lord in it.

Be Heavenly Minded in the Work of the Home

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Colossians 3:1-2

If you are a Christian, the purpose of your homemaking is to be a place where people are nurtured spiritually and physically. Homemaking is vapid if it’s just about how great of a homemaker you are, your gorgeous rooms and delicious food. I have been in houses that offered those things but it is empty without the Lord.

Fill your home with the reading of scripture, Biblical discussion and prayer. This is a purpose of homemaking.

Jesus instructed us to be awake, watching for Him and to be found busy about the Father’s work. This is the perspective we need to do the homemaking. The good things that come from homemaking cannot be our only motivation because sometimes there are not enough good things from it to keep us motivated or to give us satisfaction. The point is, homemaking is a pleasurable and joyful work in many ways, but it is also a work done in a fallen world and at some point, you will feel that. This world is not our home, and you will feel that. The Lord is our motivation, the one we serve. The Lord is our affection, the one we delight in. The Lord is our destination, the one we long for more than here.

Pray that the Lord helps you to be about His work. Be about His work in your homemaking. His work can be as simple as being kind to your family. Praying to be “about the Father’s work” means being in a state of serving the Lord even in what we think is such a small thing, like just being kind. But this is what we were commanded to do as wives!

and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:4-5

Jesus said:

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Matthew 7:24-29

The wisest thing you will ever do for your entire life, not just your marriage and your home, is to hear the words of Jesus and do them. And how can you hear the words of Jesus if you never read what he said? Read your Bible. Pray the scriptures for yourself. Attend a Bible teaching church every week. This will shape you into the woman you are meant to be in the Lord in every aspect of your life.

We need the Lord Jesus

We need more than the virtue of homemaking. We need the Lord himself. And from Him we have the ability to do good things. Especially when it’s difficult.

 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:14

The well of homemaking enthusiasm runs dry. Hardship happens in the home. Discouragement, loss, and sin, can happen in this little bubble of ours. This may make homemaking a less than joyful experience. What then? While homemaking is a vital and noble pursuit, it is not the water that wells up to eternal life.

Serve the Lord. Delight yourself in the Lord. Abide in the Lord.

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

We need the Lord Jesus to help us be respectful to our husbands, to be kind, to be willing to do a lowly humble work. We need to abide in Him to do the things we are commanded to do. This is what it means to be a Christian wife, homemaker, business owner, side hustler, whatever it is. Nothing we have or do in this world is meant to fulfill us.

Our homemaking will only bring about so much joy, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing but it’s never going to fulfill you in and of itself. Homemaking may be beautiful and lovely in many ways, but it is not only those things. It is hard, it is lonely, it is discouraging! Only the Lord Jesus fulfills us. He gives us our purpose, He gives us our worth and He gives us our work. So, it should be Him who we serve in anything we do. Build the Kingdom of God in you and in your home.

You are serving the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:24