Ladies,
We are rightfully flabbergasted at the price of goods and homes now days. It is very difficult to live on one income with a whole family to feed, clothe, and give a quality of life. But it is valuable to be reminded of the ways women did things in years gone by and how we perceive “quality of life” now days. Let’s go back to the 1990s and visit the homemaking women of my childhood and see how they were full time homemakers with children not just on one income, but a modest one income.
The year is 1990, my mother had two children and was a full-time homemaker
They bought a one-bathroom house that was less than 1800 square feet. This house did not proclaim that we were financially successful. But the fact is, living in a small affordable house was just one of many decisions that allowed my mother to be at home with us every day. We ate healthy food every day, and all of our needs were met. This means that my parents were very successful in a way many women and their children never know. These decisions were deliberate, wise, and discerning. They lived simply to prioritize my mother rearing her own children at home. We were not the only ones doing this as other families around us did the same and I observed many of the same ways of living so that our mothers could work full-time at home.
She Literally Never Shopped Beyond Essentials
My mother never bought anything other than essentials. Was this extreme? Yes. But she did this in order to put the least financial strain on her husband so that he could comfortably pay the mortgage, the bills, the groceries, the car maintenance, to buy the (used) car outright in the first place, the gas to get to work, and any medical co-pays and bills that insurance did not cover. Due to her lack of aimless spending, my dad made it a point to occasionally take her to the department store and have her buy new clothing. He insisted she buy nice things for herself occasionally so that she was taken care of by him. She would buy a fresh set of bras, tops, sweaters, a coat and shoes. We spent less often but bought quality. Back then, many things were still made in the USA and our clothing was made very well. The fabric was thicker and cotton fabric was much more prevalent. Shoes and handbags were genuine leather, and our wardrobes would last decades when cared for properly.
We Drove Beat Up Used Cars
We did not care what our vehicles looked like as long as they ran well. We drove some clunkers, but they were owned in full, and they worked!
She Cooked from Scratch
My mother’s financial contribution was immense by simply not spending money aimlessly and by working harder at doing things herself. She bought ingredients instead of pre-made food. She even sourced the ingredients from local farms, farmers markets, and grocery stores with coupons to get the best possible deals. Then she cooked from scratch, which saved my dad hundreds of dollars a month in feeding us. Nothing was pre-chopped or pre-packaged. She did that work. Day in and day out. I got to see how she grocery planned and how she grocery shopped since I was with her as a homeschooler. This alone was a valuable life lesson. But I also got to see the cooking. This gave us children a chance to learn to read recipes with her, learn to use basic ingredients, learn to measure them out, learn to dice food correctly, etc. We got to see and help how to make meals which is a valuable and essential life skill.
She Didn’t Buy Snacks
Because my mother was home to cook healthy meals for us, we did not get “snacks”. We did not buy things like chips, fruit snacks, crackers, or pre-packaged cookies. None of that. We ate meals. If we were hungry in between meals, we just got another helping of the food from the meal. Other than this, we would get a sandwich, homemade oatmeal cookies, cheese slices, wheat bread with butter, and any fruit that was in season at the time.
We Drank Water
Juice and soda did not exist to us. Those are high in sugar and an unnecessary expense on the grocery budget. We drank water from the faucet. We had tea when we wanted it. We could have a glass of milk. The adults drank coffee in the morning and a glass of wine with dinner. We saved a lot of money by never purchasing “drinks” for kids. It still shocks me when children visit and want a “drink”, and I suggest water and then they don’t want a drink. For a very infrequent treat during the heat of summer, my mother would buy us a frozen juice concentrate that we mixed with water to make juice. As a rule, all we drank as children was water, and we were healthier for it. You can make beautiful tasting water with lemons, cucumber slices, or other fruit for a much healthier and cheaper version of a flavored drink for children.
There was no such thing as Target
Target did not exist. The culture of Target did not exist. I did not grow up with this thing called “Target” and when it finally did become a thing, it was a very odd store to us. The gigantic red letters looked odd and foreboding to me as a child. The new store smelled horrible, like plastic. The fluorescent lights were blaring overhead and everyone wore khaki pants and a red shirt and looked like a character out of a sci-fi movie where they all had to conform. It looked cheap, it smelled cheap, and there was no beauty or comfort to it. I am not opposed to big box stores and often times, this is where we find the best deals. I have my favorite big box stores. However, my generation experienced the transition of businesses being local and smaller to the types of stores we experience today. We grew up with small businesses where you walked into a normal sized door, maybe a little bell rang that was attached at the top, a store clerk would look up and smile at you. They wore their own nice clothes. Often times we knew their names; we knew their children’s names. We knew what part of town they lived in. Their stores had an inviting aura with natural scents, not plastic scents. When we visited larger stores, it was department stores that looked and felt very nice, even luxurious. Department stores were made to be beautiful back then and it was a big deal to go once a year to buy clothing. I truly disliked this new store called “Target”. It has never held even one charm for me, and I have watched in my lifetime as women became lemmings to this place. I knew life before Target, and I still live as though it does not exist. Much to my mother’s benefit, she never held an ounce of care toward it either. She never went there for a reprieve like women do today. All of that potential to squander money did not exist because the big box store did not hold an ounce of temptation. There was a little local shop we would visit for our homemaking hearts that sold beautiful household goods and smelled strongly like tea and glorious scented candles. She did enjoy this special outing. We could not afford much there since the prices were not as low as a big box store which kept us from overspending, but occasionally we would treat ourselves to one candle, or one sachet of scented potpourri for a clothing drawer. This was infrequent, and it was so expensive we hardly bought a thing. What we did buy was treasured and not collected in mass then “decluttered” constantly. The spending behavior was different than I see today in women. If you could harness the ability to shop infrequently and also enjoy the lower prices on beautiful items at a big box store, then actually take care of that item and integrate it into your home for the long term, this would be using our inexpensive prices now days to your advantage. Your shopping habits and the way you value what you buy needs to change to be like the women who lived on very little income to work at home full-time as wives and mothers.
Starbucks was Not a Thing
It did exist as it was founded in the 1970s, but it was not widespread yet as a cultural thing people partook in. Especially in small towns like ours where we only had local coffee shops, not starbucks. Our local coffee shops were owned by a few local families. The coffees did not cost nearly what they would in a decade or so as I grew into a teenager and the popularity of starbucks would inform higher prices in all coffee shops. My mother loved a good cup of coffee, but never once did she feel she lacked because she did not go out regularly and spend money to get one. She made her coffee at home. She would go to church get-togethers to have coffee with other ladies, or they would visit each other at home. Another thing she did when we were young was to feed us healthy lunch at home, then take us to the McDonalds playset so we could burn off our energy and she would buy herself one cup of coffee to pay for her use of the playset. I think she paid .25 cents for her coffee. This was how she had “coffee out”. I do not think there is anything wrong with getting a coffee out of the house, and I enjoy that depending on the place. The point is, the way she lived back then was not a habitual spending of money on such a thing, which meant their finances had zero strain in that regard. This helped her to be a mother working at home full-time.
We Didn’t Pay for TV
We owned a 13″ television that only broadcasted the channels that the antenna on the roof would receive. The three channels that showed were so fuzzy it was uncomfortable to watch. My parents spent zero dollars on television.
No Cell Phones
What is a cell phone? We did not have these back then so there was no such thing as a cell phone bill. We got a family cell phone when I was 16 that we used for safety only. This meant we took it with us places and if we needed to dial 911 or someone else, we would turn on the phone, make the call, then turn it back off. There was no such thing as texting.
No Internet
There was no internet bill until internet became a thing. That happened much later in life for my parents and for us kids. For decades of their marriage there was no internet bill!
No Magazine Subscriptions
But we would often get magazine subscriptions as Christmas gifts from family! It was one of the most fun gifts to receive and to get that beautiful magazine every single month was so exciting for us. We looked forward to every issue and when it finally came, we poured over the pages slowly and deliberately soaking in every detail of the photographs and the written article. We would often employ the tips and project ideas of articles. Imagine the pace of only receiving one blog post per month, or only a handful of instagram posts per month, or only one youtube video per month and you had to pay to receive it. It was all we had and somehow we gleaned more from one publication than I think we glean now days from the abundance of media. Our favorite magazine was Victoria Magazine, and it was inevitably given as a subscription each Christmas, of which we gleefully enjoyed.
We spent More Time Outdoors, Working, Reading, Playing
Because we did not frequent stores as a way to get out of the house or for a break like many women do today, our time was not spent in the car or in a store. Our lives were lived in nature, in the home, and finding constructive and joyful activities right where we were. We spent a lot of time playing outdoors. We built forts. We ran around. We took our toys outside and played trucks in the dirt and dolls in the pond. We made “houses” out of trees. My mother did not spend her time playing with us or entertaining us. She was off cleaning something, doing laundry, weeding the garden. She was around us; she would chime in; she had eyes on us. We had access to her to walk up and talk or ask questions. We would often join in the work she was doing because we wanted to help, or we found it interesting to learn how to do. But we had to come up with things to do all day, not her. We became independent thinkers this way, coming up with our own fun and games. We would wake up and feel out the day. Cold rainy days, snow days, windy days, or warm sunny days all meant different things. We leaned into the natural setting around us; the seasons dictated a lot of our activities. She would then read to us for the longest time at bedtime when we were good and plum tuckered out from running around all day, using our minds being creative and being kids! This kind of day cost her nothing. We did not have to spend money to have a full and robust day. We had toys and we had a house and everything outdoors at our disposal from sticks, to puddles to jump in, to trees to climb, to her sheets and blankets to build forts indoors.
Homemaking & Childhood can be Simple and Good
Many of these ways are being revived and it is important to take a look at how women have been doing this with a beautiful quality of life for them and their families. It did look different. They did practice self-control with spending. They did center their lives at home, not out and about all the time. They did have to work harder to feed people. They did drive clunker cars. Treats were rarer, but more special when we had them. Nice things had to be gifted to us rather than always buying for ourselves. A husband got to shine when he could treat her to something she needed or wanted. I gained valuable life skills and inward character by merely being raised by parents who lived like this. I was taught the Gospel, I was taken to church, I was given a Bible to read. I was given a framework for who I was, who God is, my purpose, His divine love for me, His discipline, His guidance. It was an environment of learning, prizing wisdom and discernment and honoring God.
Having been raised like this, I am thankful to God that this is what I was given. A loving two parent household was already one of the greatest blessings. To have them take on these distinct roles and sacrifice by living simply and have a mother working in the home for the daily needs, available to her children, watching over us and a dad who happily provided financially and honored his wife who was “just” a mother, to give us this upbringing was another level of blessing. I count myself as highly blessed and will forever be grateful to God.
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CHRISTIAN LIVING – FASHION – HOME
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