Ladies,

When we read about the Proverbs 31 wife, we do not just read a list of her accomplishments, actually we see the deeper character traits that motive her and how her husband can give her the high compliment of “many have done excellently, but you surpass them all”.

We can read any book of the Bible and see bad character vs good character through the many historical accounts of who did what and why and how that turned out. We can even read an entire book of Proverbs on the subject to see the constant contrasting of foolishness vs wisdom. We can even get a list of bad character traits such as in 2 Timothy 3:1-5.

While we get a list of good character traits in the fruit of the Spirit:

We need this knowledge of good vs bad character to help us to know which one we are exemplifying.

If we align with bad and foolish character traits, there is a problem. We need to repent. We need to pray and study the Bible daily, and we need to ask God to help us become wise.

We need the good character traits as our guide that this is the standard.

We need the transformative power of the Holy Spirit making us like Christ. He helps me to love my family. He helps me to selflessly do the things I don’t want to do, the things that I wouldn’t do without thinking about him washing the disciples’ feet and humbling himself to die for us on the cross. It takes Jesus for me to be like Jesus.

Good character before good results

Many of us are excellent on paper. We can get things done. But it doesn’t mean we have done it in the best character. Were our words sharp and hasty toward those around us? Were we ploughing through like a stress tornado? Results are good but I often think about how wisdom is not described as merely “everything got done well” but that:

Were all my ways pleasant while I did my work? Were all my paths peace?

The Proverbs 31 wife is specifically cited as a woman who speaks carefully:

She is described as being excellent for having good inward qualities that feed her behavior of being hard working and caring. She is described as trustworthy, hardworking, and yes….kind. I often meditate on this depiction of the excellent wife of scripture and how she is “more precious than jewels” not just because she gets things done, but because of who she is as a person. She has foresight, knowledge, discernment, and she works to better her household and herself by these things.

Her work comes out of her deeper inward character.

Her work matters to her because she is fully aligned with the divine purpose of her role in the family. She is meant to train good character into her home by training good practices toward it and toward each other. “Excellence” is the standard. She is looking well to the ways of her household, they are well-fed, well-dressed, well-loved. We get all sides of this depiction of excellence and exactly what it means, and the specific things prioritized. And we can take these specific leads for what we need to prioritize too.

Instead of looking to non-scripture ideas about what it means to be excellent, we ought to be elevating the woman who is described as “surpassing them all” in scripture. We ought to be looking to her, emulating her, studying her, meditating on this description to help us become what is “more precious than jewels.”