Elegant, Graceful & Dignified: The Blessing of Inward Makeover

Ladies,

“Elegance” is not exclusive to an income bracket. In fact, elegance is a thing of rarity in all social circles now days. “Graceful” is a concept we quickly apply to a ballerina but is lesser seen as a concept to apply to women in everyday life. “Dignified” is a nearly forgotten idea in a culture that praises brash personalities, diminishes the importance of manners, grooming, dress, etc. But the Christian woman has the unique blessing of becoming elegant, graceful, and dignified from the inside out.

“The woman Folly is loud”
Proverbs 9:13

Elegance

Recently, upon re-reading The Little House on The Prairie book series, I was enraptured in how Ma Ingalls emphasized to her daughters the way they should communicate. Her lessons were consistent throughout the books that the girls were to speak in a calm pace in a soft voice. This is a very elegant way of speaking.

When Laura Ingalls spent time with her rambunctious cousin once, Ma was diligent to point out what behaviors she did not want Laura to pick up from her and that Laura’s Aunt “did not curb her boisterous ways enough”. Ma stepped in giving her daughter wisdom in a timely manner on something she was apt to be shaped by, something that she might otherwise see as ok behavior or, something she may even admire. We can admire wrong behavior easily, unless given right perspective on it.

Our culture admires, applauds, and even expects boisterous behavior in women. It is important to know what the Word of God says about this and to let the truth of the Holy Bible shape how we behave. Many times, people will wave away this wisdom and excuse it as ok because that’s just how (fill in the blank) people are. I have seen that it doesn’t matter how far removed one person is from another in their background or culture, they all use the same excuse for bad conduct with the same reasoning. “It’s the Irish temper”, “It’s the Latin temper”…it’s actually just a fleshly temper and every single one of us has it. We have personal choice in the matter of speaking and behavior; we are not bound to the ways that we learned from our culture or ethnic background. The Holy Bible is for everyone to learn from.

“show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
Titus 3:2

Dignity

We should be learning etiquette rules as a means of facilitating respectful interactions. But courtesy is even simpler than etiquette, it is simply treating others as you want to be treated. This means giving other people dignity by treating them well. By being refined in your own disposition, way of dressing, and manners, you are being a dignified person yourself. Extending courtesy to others means that you value them even if they are not dignified, have bad manners, or behave poorly. You can still give dignity to other people by being courteous to them.

Courtesy is an important part of showing respect and love to other people. I enjoy the moments when someone realizes a door is being held for them, or their surprise when they drop something and another person picks it up for them, or when they are alerted that the next register is open instead of someone behind them spearing it for themselves. The look on people’s faces to be treated so thoughtfully is wonderful to see. They are often shocked by it, which goes to show the decline of courtesy.

“let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak“
James 1:19

Grace

Often times, people do railroad others in conversations. It is easy to fall prey to pushing your way into being heard, which means having to talk over people or interrupt to be a part of it. But this is a stressful way to interact. Let people railroad you. If they do not want to stop to allow you to say something, it is not really a conversation at all, it is a one-way bulldozing. Let them. Be quick to listen, and slow to speak. You will only save yourself stress and save your words for people who want to hear what you have to say. But it has taught me to genuinely be a better listener. This verse taught me how to communicate in a graceful and gracious way.